Dating after Divorce as a Mum in The Modern Era

Navigating a divorce is one of the most difficult things you can do – throw co-parenting into the mix and life can get pretty stressful and sometimes lonely. But what happens when you finally feel ready to date and how do you introduce new partners into the family?

Emma Rosso aka @thatexpatsinglemum explains how she found love again and what this new phase looks like. 

Was there a moment when you realised you were emotionally ready to meet or open up to someone new?

Emma: Honestly, no I wasn’t looking to meet anyone at all. I had spent around 18 months rebuilding my life post-separation and had reached a place where I genuinely felt the happiest I’d ever been. I was content, fulfilled, and very settled in my own world, so adding someone new wasn’t something I felt I needed. I truly believe it’s so important to feel whole, happy, and grounded in yourself before choosing to enter a new relationship.

How did having children affect your approach to new relationships – in terms of pace, boundaries, or expectations?

Emma: My partner doesn’t have children of his own, so having very open and honest conversations from the beginning was essential. It took around six months before my son was introduced, and even then it was done in a very casual, pressure free way. My partner has had to be incredibly understanding and accepting that my son will always be my number one priority.

Naturally, this setup means the relationship moves at a much slower pace. My time and energy are limited due to my responsibilities as a mother, and that shapes both expectations and boundaries but it’s also helped create something more intentional and respectful.

Did you experience guilt about dating? If so, how are you working through it?

Emma: No, I’ve never experienced guilt around dating. As mothers, we carry enough guilt already for so many other things. Throughout this new chapter, my son has always been at the forefront of every decision I’ve made, and his happiness is incredibly important to me. That said, I strongly believe that mums deserve happiness too and that those two things don’t have to exist in conflict.

What role does honesty – with yourself, your children, and potential partners – play in building something healthy this time around?

Emma: Honesty plays a really grounding role for me. It starts with being honest with myself about my capacity, my priorities, and what truly matters in this season of my life. With my child, it’s about reassurance and consistency rather than detail making sure he always feels secure. And with a partner, honesty creates understanding from the outset. It removes assumptions and allows the relationship to develop in a way that feels respectful, calm, and emotionally safe.

What would you tell another single mum who's condsering dating after divorce but feels torn between protecting her children and wanting companionship?

Emma: I would remind her that the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Protecting your children will always come first, but that doesn’t mean you have to completely put your own needs and happiness on hold. Moving at your own pace, trusting your instincts, and choosing someone who truly understands your role as a mother makes all the difference. You’re allowed to want companionship and you’re allowed to choose it carefully.

Looking back, what feels most important now in a relationship that maybe wasn’t before?

Emma: Feeling emotionally safe. Being able to communicate openly and articulate your thoughts and feelings without fear of being misunderstood or dismissed. Mutual respect, emotional maturity, and understanding now matter far more to me than chemistry or excitement alone. Stability, honesty, and feeling truly supported are what define a meaningful relationship for me now.

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Emma has founded The Single Parent Society to help and support people in the same position. Find out more at: thesingleparentsociety.com