Why We Should All Stop Buying Christmas Gifts For Adults

I flipping love Christmas. It’s genuinely my favourite time of year.

I also love presents. Not the ones that you’ve hinted for and not ones that are even very expensive. I love thoughtful little surprises.

So it might seem strange that this year, and I’m guessing every year from now on; I’ve vetoed presents for adults in our family.

Before I get into all the anti-consumer stuff, I need to give the disclaimer that if money were no object, things would be very different. The decision was a financial one, rather than an ethical one. But the more I think about it, the stronger the moral argument becomes as to why we shouldn’t all be buying loads of gifts for the adults in our lives at Christmas.

The decision our family took came as a result of a conversation with my sister in law about how we wished we could spend more time together. We missed the time a few years ago when we all used to spend lots of time together going away for weekends in the countryside or cheeky trips to Southern Spain. We just couldn’t justify them nowadays with our finances being so much tighter (thanks cost of living crisis and divorce proceedings!).

The conversation moved on to our budgets for Christmas gifts. We bemoaned the fact that as the kids get older their lists get more eyewateringly expensive, even though the piles of presents get smaller.

But what should we be spending on the adults? Should we pool together £100 each to get stuff for the parents/grandparents? What about our siblings/in-laws? Were we buying for best friends too? Should we try to pick a roundabout figure and stick to it?

Some quick calculations told me I’d be spending about £400 on the adults in my life.

“That’s like the cost of a weekend away!” we both whinged.

And then…

…the lightbulb moment.

What about if instead of buying each other presents which we most likely wouldn’t want, or more importantly, need… we booked a weekend away together? The whole family. All four fabulous generations.

Socks and candles and perfume we’re not keen on and makeup in the wrong shade… or a weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub and enough activities for the kids so that they don’t bother us for hours on end? I know what I’ll go for thank you very much!

Although we made the decision for financial reasons, there are plenty of moral ones which back it up.

Firstly: Stuff! We’ve all got so much stuff! If you’ve never watched The Minimalists on Netflix, I urge you to check it out. It’s a wake-up call on the real reason we fill our homes and wardrobes with so many things we simply do not need, and more importantly, how to break free of our addiction (because that’s what it is) to buying more.

There’s also the brilliant Netflix documentary Buy Now: The Shopping Conspiracy. Watch that before you think about your Christmas shopping, and I promise you, you’ll approach it very differently.

Secondly; as depressing as it is to discuss this in December, we are indeed in the midst of a cost of living crisis. Our finances are squeezed tighter than they have been in a decade, whilst luxury gifting items show no sgn of slowing down in price.

Thirdly, there’s the pressure on our mental health which Christmas gifting exacerbates. How do you choose who and who not to buy for? How much do you spend? How do you find the right gift? Is it OK to regift if you get a duff present yourself? Add to that the sheer time it takes to choose, buy and wrap gifts for a whole family full of adults. No wonder Christmas is the most stressful time of year.

A quick google gives you some frightening statistics on unwanted gifts. Last year 53.1% of adults received a gift they didn’t want (I’m sure it’s higher than that and people are being polite). A staggering £70 million pounds is spent on unwanted gifts each year, with £42 million pounds worth of gifts ending up in landfill. It’s disgraceful really when you take in that information isn’t it? See? My tightfistedness is literally saving the planet.

Christmas is, in the words of Cliff Richards, a time for giving (and receiving) though. So what to do about that?

Well, how about giving your time? How about instead of buying your Grandad some tools for his shed that he’ll never use; you offer to go and clear the shed out for him and make it more organised? How about instead of splashing out on a fancy cake blender for your sister, you book in an afternoon together and go and eat cake instead of making it.

Sure, there are times it’s really lovely to buy someone a gift. Someone you think really could do with a pick-me-up, or for someone who really goes the extra mile for you. But you can buy that gift at any time can’t you? For the love of Jesus, Mary and Joseph (and the wee donkey), don’t buy it at Christmas… they’ll only feel like they have to buy you one back.

// Sarah Lawton