Mastering the First Date


by Christiana Maxion


What’s important to know is that a first date is JUST a vibe-check to see if you two get on, can carry a conversation, and if there is any interest in continuing to see this person again. A first date is NOT an opportunity to talk about controversial topics, dictate your expectations and timeline to your date, or spill the beans on your past.


Meeting someone for a first date can be a daunting task and may be uncomfortable, but don’t worry—I have your back! Use the guide below to help you master the first date and make every date a successful one!


ICEBREAKERS

Icebreakers are a great way to get to know your date without feeling too interview-y.

  • Which three wishes would you ask from a magic genie? These answers will give you insight into your date’s priorities.

  • What was your dream job when you were younger and what is your dream job now? These answers will give you information into your date’s ambitions, goals, and happiness.

  • If you had to choose one superpower, which would it be? This answer will give you insight into your date’s intellect.


TOPICS TO DISCUSS

Compatibility is really built on hobbies, habits, and interests. These discussion topics will allow the opportunity to see if you have a connection with your date and whether or not you could build a life with this person.

  • Hobbies: Talk all about your hobbies and interests. This is where compatibility is rooted :)

  • Habits: Speak on what a normal weekday and weekend looks like for you and your date

  • Holidays: Share your favorite holidays and memorable moments. Make some connections!


TOPICS TO AVOID

Please avoid these topics at all costs! You came to meet this person tonight to see if you have a connection, not to get into a heated argument ;)

  • Exes: Never speak about past dating experiences or exes. You are there to get to know one another and not dwell on other relationships

  • Money: Never speak on how much you make or how little or lot something costs

  • Controversial topics: No need to bring up viewpoints on religion, politics or war

  • The future: Do NOT reveal your plans for the future on a first date. Keep it light. No talk of marriage or children, this person hasn’t earned that information from you yet


WHAT TO DO POST-DATE

Now that the date is over, it’s time to sit in your feelings and see if you want to see this person again. I always suggest to JOURNAL AFTER A DATE. Write down the things you enjoyed, questions you still have, and how this person made you feel. These notes will give you clarity in your decision if you would see your date again …or not.


Some seek ‘fireworks’ on a first date, but this electric feeling isn’t always an indicator if this relationship will last or turn into long-term committed partnership. Focus on how this person made you feel. I always say, the MOST attractive thing about a person should be the way they treat you and make you feel! So focus on those two points and let that be the indicator for an acceptance of a second date. :)