‘The Three Date Rule’


The Three Date Rule

By Christiana Maxion


One date, two date, three date …X*#?@ No, this article is NOT about THAT three-date rule, but rather what three dates in the 2020’s dating-verse can look like.


THE FIRST DATE

Great! You’re interested in someone and you both have agreed to see each other in a more intimate setting…but when, where, and how?!


I typically advise a first date to be over a bite to eat. This could be breakfast, lunch, or dinner, depending on your schedule and time constraints. A bite to eat allows you the opportunity to sit across from someone, engage in interesting conversation, listen to their answers, observe their actions, gauge their reactions, and share intimate looks.


Plus it’s a good opportunity to see their level of etiquette. How are they treating you and others? How do they hold their cutlery? Do they rise when you leave or return to the table? Are they using their phone during your time together? Do they tip? …I’m a stickler for manners!


Do NOT do coffee as a first date! There’s no romance in it and it gives off a business-y vibe. It also implies that the date will be short and who wants to get all dressed up for that?! Coffee is unsexy!


Do NOT accept a walk as a first date! It’s hard to determine if you have chemistry with someone when you’re walking side by side with them and not sitting across from them to see their reactions, facial expressions, or mannerisms.


THE SECOND DATE

The first date went well and you both want to see each other again…Let’s get physical! Haha no, NOT what you’re thinking!


I love an activity for a second date - can be a physical or creative activity. This gives you an opportunity to see your date in a different setting and to let each other show off your skills. The experience you have will also be a great launching pad for conversation and a way to form a different bond with one another.


Recommended physical and creative activity: Escape rooms. This kind of second date gives you insight into your date’s intellect, survival skills, and competitive spirit. Plus you’ll get a better sense of how they handle pressure or stress.


Recommended physical activity: Bowling. Of course bowling isn’t the most physically straining sport, but it’s a sport that is accessible to most. Also you can wear a cute outfit and you most likely won’t end up sweating. On this date you can see how your date performs, handles losses and wins, and how they treat your failures and successes. A sore loser is a major red flag!


Recommended creative activity: Create something together! This could be anything from a paint and grape class, candle-making workshop, museum tour with activity, or others. One of my favorite dates was a group class to create customized perfumes. Not only did I gain more knowledge about an unfamiliar topic, I walked away with an awesome gift, and since it was a group date, I had the chance to observe how he interacted in a group setting with others he didn’t know.


THE THIRD DATE

Wow! You both like each other after the first two dates? Now it’s time to get romantic…no, NOT THAT either!


A third date is a chance to see this person in a more romantic setting. Romance is hard to define but this should definitely be a one-on-one experience and have an extra flair of romantic effort that is meaningful to the two of you. Maybe you love the ocean and it’s a date planned at the aquarium. Maybe you’re a sucker for a view, and it’s a date planned with stunning skyscraper or palm views. Candles, flowers, and chocolates are an easy win in this department.


A great conversation topic for the third date is love languages. Talk about how you both show and receive love. Your love languages don’t need to be exact but it’s an open conversation and great knowledge to hold if you do decide to continue a relationship with someone. If you have no clue what I’m talking about, GOOGLE IT!


A third date is a time to assess the level of effort your date is putting in, your level of chemistry, and whether or not you would introduce this fella to your friends. These answers will help you decide if you’d like to continue or discontinue seeing each other.


NOW WHAT?!

Three dates should be a great indicator of whether or not you’re into someone and are willing to put in the effort to see where it goes. And, if it doesn’t work out…it’s okay! There are plenty of fish in this Dubai sea!