Redefining Confidence in Mid-Life

After years of building, relocating and starting again, Janine Plum reflects on how confidence shifts in mid-life – and why redefining it can be more powerful than trying to reclaim what once was.

I always knew, from a young age, that I would live beyond the borders of where I grew up. That I would travel, build a life elsewhere, and figure things out as I went. At age 24, I put that belief into motion when I left South Africa for the USA, followed by a move to the UK in 2005, and eventually settling in Dubai in 2007.

What propelled me then was confidence, with no shortage of it. I trusted myself and pursued my plans with intention.

That same confidence carried me through the launch of my first business in 2013, another in 2015, and into leading one of the largest communities for women in Dubai in 2019. I was visible and comfortable taking up space. Confidence wasn’t something I questioned, it was simply there.

The moment everything changed

In 2020, everything shifted. We left Dubai and moved to Montenegro.

What followed was a period of unfamiliar circumstances, constant adjustment and holding life together in a place that was entirely new. However, my self-trust and confidence were still intact. Strong enough, in fact, to lead me to open my first retail store in 2021. At the time, it felt like a continuation of who I had always been: adaptable, resilient and willing to back myself.

When we returned to Dubai in 2022, I expected something to click back into place. Instead, by 2023, I began to feel a quiet but persistent sense of disconnection I couldn’t explain.

I didn’t notice my confidence slipping away all at once. There was no single moment, no dramatic turning point I could point to. Instead, there was confusion - a constant, low-level friction I couldn’t name. I would stand in front of the mirror and feel disconnected from the person looking back at me, as though I was observing someone I should recognise, but didn’t.

On paper, life had settled. We were back in Dubai. The children were back in school, routines were in place, we were in a new home. Everything appeared calm and organised. And yet inside, I felt low and hollow, as though something essential had quietly drained away and left very little behind.

Feeling untethered in a place I once knew

Years earlier, I would have been socially engaged. This time, I withdrew. I spent long stretches isolating, avoiding environments that required interaction. Isolation wasn’t a conscious decision. It felt safer than trying to find language for something I didn’t yet understand, or admit.

What made this harder was the realisation that returning to a place doesn’t mean returning to the same life. In the time we were away, things had shifted.

Familiar anchors no longer felt as solid. It was as though I was rebuilding from scratch in a city I once knew well, and that subtle sense of dislocation eroded my confidence more than I expected.

For a long time, I introduced myself through the lens of what I had been, anchoring myself to a chapter that felt safer than the present. It took time to recognise how much that language mattered, how it quietly reinforced the belief that my most relevant version lived somewhere behind me.

The turning point, when it came, wasn’t dramatic...

In early 2024, I began working with a life coach, and not long after, I attended my first Female Founders coffee morning. I sat in rooms again. I listened more than I spoke. I allowed myself to simply be present. Slowly, confidence returned - a steadier, grounded confidence.

I came to understand that confidence in mid-life doesn’t look like it did in my twenties or thirties. It’s not loud or performative. It’s not about proving anything. It’s about self-trust, and letting go of the pressure to show up everywhere, for everyone, all the time.

What I've worked on

These days, I spend much more time in my own company, and I’ve grown to enjoy it. My early morning bike rides have become non-negotiable. I read more. I attend monthly meetings with fellow founders who understand the nuances of this phase of life without needing explanation.

I also spend an inordinate amount of time diagnosing my aches and pains (thank you, menopause), wondering why tasks I once did on autopilot - like turning on the air-fryer, suddenly feel oddly complicated. Or trying to lift the fog that has, without warning, decided to take up permanent residence in my brain. It’s humbling, occasionally absurd, and oddly grounding all at once.

Now as a 40+ year old woman, my daily life reflects that shift. I prioritise my energy. I no longer push through when my mental load feels heavy. I say no without over-explaining. I rest when I need to. I don’t speak for the sake of being heard; I speak when I have something to offer. And for the first time in a long while, I’m genuinely proud of the path I’ve taken - not despite its challenges, but because of what they’ve taught me.

This journey is what led me to build RETURNready. It exists because I don’t want women navigating similar transitions to feel they have to do it alone, or believe there’s something wrong with them for struggling during this phase of life.

What I see again and again is that confidence doesn’t disappear because women aren’t capable. It shifts because life reshapes us, and we’re rarely given permission to acknowledge that change.

Mid-life isn’t about getting something back. It’s about redefining it.

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About the author:

Janine Plum is the founder of RETURNready, a UAE-based initiative supporting women through confidence rebuilding, reinvention, and mid-life transitions. With a background in community leadership and entrepreneurship, Janine brings a grounded, human perspective to conversations around identity, starting again, and redefining confidence in mid-life