Honest Parenting // How to Talk to Kids About Money

My eight year old son receives a little bit of pocket money every week. If he makes his bed every morning and does a short drum practice at the weekend, he gets a few pound coins for his Batman money box.

This sounds like a good deal, right? It gives him the opportunity to be independent and take responsibility while getting something in return that isn’t indulgent or over-the-top.

The problem is, I often forget to give him his pocket money!

And to be fair, in equal amounts, he forgets to remind me!

In my head, this pocket money exchange is good. Wholesome. Its all in place to teach him how to save for something he really wants. But in reality, I rarely have cash in the house. I apologise. Tell my son that I owe him from last week, and the week before. “I promise I’ll get it from the cash machine! You’ll get a note!” Surprisingly, his response is very, very chill. Whatever. Cool. It’s the most no-probs he ever is. If I advise him not to wear his Inter Miami football shirt again because well, it’s dirty, he can look at me like I’ve purposefully destroyed his life. But a bit of cash? Meh!

It’s not because he’s spoilt. It's because money has changed so much in recent years. Children don’t physically see it the way we used to. They’re not brought up around cash. I remember my grandmoth-er having an Ice Cream Jar, just a porcelain trinket on the dining room shelf, filled with odd coins we would use to pay for a lolly when the ice cream man did his neighbourhood rounds. Family friends would slip a pound into our hands and say, “Get yourself some sweets,” or if we were really lucky, a fiver. Whenever my mum wrote a cheque, I would be amazed that she got away with signing her name on a piece of paper without having to count anything out from her purse!

Today, many families are facing tough financial situations and this is becoming a global problem. It’s important for adults to take responsibility and make an effort to educate our children about this differ-ently. It’s not their fault that the value of money is impossible to envision. Think about what they’ve witnessed their whole lives… An almost cashless economy. Recently, my son counted out his savings from his Batman money box and he decided he would like to buy the next book in a series he loves. We took a trip to our local bookshop where he found what he wanted and with the cash tight in his fist, he took the book to the counter by himself. Allowing him this moment of independence, I hung back and browsed the shelves with him in my peripheral sight. But then I heard, “Mama… mama, can you help?” I went to the counter and was asked if I could pay “on your phone.” I explained to the member of staff that he wanted to buy this book with his own money but she pointed at a sign cello-taped to the counter; We are cashless. I know he could just give me the cash and I tap my phone, but it just seems to miss the point.

While digital transactions aim to increase convenience, efficiency, and transparency in financial trans-actions, the value of money without seeing it in physical form is invisible. Sure, children notice adults tapping a card or clicking a button on their phone. My kids have been playing “shop” since they were toddlers, tapping my expired debit or loyalty cards on their toy tills. They are well aware that is how you pay for stuff. But think about how incredibly easy that must seem to them!

Then there are the conversations at home between my husband and I, perhaps about our daughter needing new school shoes. I tap an app, scroll to her size, ask her to choose a style or colour, and - hey, presto - the shoes arrive on our doorstep the next day. This is the norm for kids these days. They grew up during Covid when nipping to the shop became a novelty.

And of course, there are the evils of social media to contend with. Influencers in large fancy homes, children with an entire soft play for a bedroom and the ongoing bizarre trends of unboxing toys. These superficial shiny videos, watched billions of times, have set modern parents up for instant fail-ure. We are constantly trying to explain why we don’t - and why we can’t - live like that with all that unnecessary stuff.

So how do we educate our children about money? Especially in times of economic unrest. Since the pandemic, concerns remain about a potential global recession and many regions have been facing a a cost-of-living crisis along with tightening financial conditions. Parents often want to shield their little ones, avoiding conversations about difficult situations. While this is understandable, silence can create space for worries to grow and children may be left to imagine worst-case scenarios. We don’t always have the answers, either, or know how the situation will develop. Still, it’s still better to say something and here are some tips on how to get started.

// Explain that an economic crisis is an external force

It’s not anybody’s fault in particular that things are more expensive or harder to save up for. And it’s certainly not the child’s fault. Help them to understand this is a struggle that most people experience and it is normal to try and find ways to manage it.

// Ask your child for their interpretation

This allows them to feel heard and included. You can then ask them for their ideas about solutions. This teaches that talking and problem solving is the best way to manage difficulties rather than worry-ing and staying silent.

// Reduce their anxiety by reassuring them on your ideas and solutions

You don’t want them to feel as though all hope is lost. Instead, you can say that things might be a bit tight but overall you will be okay. There are ways to solve problems and you can show them how this is possible.

// Help children understand the difference between want and need

Can it be acquired by making, recycling, swapping or buying second hand? And yes, boring things might have to be paid for first, such as electricity and water bills, but open up a fun conversation as to why we really need these things. Toys are special, so isn’t it a good idea to save new toys for a very special occasion?

// Involve your children in cost-saving solutions

Ask them what they think you could do as a family to save money? Can they help you to devise a plan? Perhaps you can switch off appliances when they’re not in use. Is there a TV subscription you could cancel and just enjoy all the offerings of one? Who would like to make a tasty lunch from last night’s leftovers? Play a game in the supermarket of trying to find the lowest price and cheaper brands. Or pick a song and save energy with a shorter shower, getting out once the song ends.

// Enjoy free family treats together

Are your children old enough to have a games night? If not, indulge in a special movie night together with blankets on the sofa. Visit a free museum at the weekend together and remember to take a packed lunch for a picnic. Children always love a chance to roam around a library too… and you get to take books home for free!