Aligned Over Hustled: The New Definition of Ambition for Women at 35+

The corporate world is bleeding talent from its most valuable demographic and most organisations haven't figured out why.

Women in their mid-thirties and beyond, the ones who were supposed to have "made it" by now, are walking away from prestigious titles, declining promotions, and redesigning their careers from the ground up. And no, this isn't about "leaning out" or losing ambition. It's about something far more interesting: a generation of women who've realised that the hustle economy sold them a faulty product.

The statistics are staggering. According to McKinsey's 2024 Women in the Workplace report, women are leaving companies at the highest rates we've seen, with the exodus particularly pronounced among women at Director and Senior Manager levels. We're not talking about junior associates still finding their footing, these are women with a decade or more of hard-won experience.

Deloitte's 2024 Women @ Work study found that 53% of professional women report feeling burned out, with nearly half saying their stress levels have increased compared to a year ago. But here's the plot twist: when these women leave, they're not retreating to their sofas. They're starting businesses, consulting, portfolio careers, or finding companies that operate differently. The hustle culture promised us that if we just worked hard enough, sacrificed enough sleep, enough boundaries, enough of ourselves, we'd reach some gleaming summit of success. Many of us who've reached our mid-thirties have discovered something inconvenient: the summit was a mirage, and the climb destroyed parts of us we're not sure we can get back.

// When Your Body Sends an Invoice

Here's what nobody tells you about ambition in your twenties versus your thirties: your body keeps score differently. The all-nighters, the back-to-back meetings fueled by cold brew and adrenaline, the "I'll sleep when I'm dead" mentality, it all hits differently after 35. Research shows that chronic workplace stress has more severe health impacts on women than men, affecting everything from cardiovascular health to autoimmune conditions. Add to this the reality that many women at this age are navigating fertility decisions, early perimenopause symptoms, or the biological fact that their cortisol regulation isn't what it was at 25, and suddenly the "rise and grind" rhetoric feels less inspirational and more like a setup for system failure.

Psychologists call what happens in your mid-thirties "generativity," a shift from proving yourself to creating meaningful impact. For women, this often arrives as an uncomfortable question that won't go away: Am I building something that matters, or am I just performing ambition for an audience that doesn't actually care about my wellbeing?

// The New Ambition Economy

So what does aligned ambition actually look like? It's not about working less, often, it's about working smarter, more strategically, and with the kind of self-awareness that only comes from having crashed and burned at least once. According to Harvard Business Review's research, women in their mid-thirties to forties are increasingly evaluating opportunities through a sophisticated filter: autonomy, purpose, and flexibility now rank alongside, or above, traditional markers like compensation and title.

This isn't naivety; it's calculation born from experience.

The women leading this shift have stopped trying to be excellent at everything simultaneously. They're not spreading themselves thin across endless commitments. They're going deep on 2-3 priorities that align with their strengths and values. This confirms what we all intuitively know: focused energy outperforms scattered effort every time.

// Reimagined Leadership

Forget the outdated playbook that says leadership means being the loudest voice in the room or the last one to leave the office. Women at 35+ are creating leadership models that don't require them to cosplay as their male counterparts. They're bringing emotional intelligence, collaborative approaches, and authentic communication styles, which deliver results while maintaining sustainability.

The linear career path, that neat ladder you're supposed to climb until retirement, is being replaced by women who are building portfolio careers: for instance, consulting combined with board positions, part-time executive roles alongside passion projects, and business ownership layered with advisory work. 

// What Companies Are Getting Wrong

The corporate world offers surface-level fixes, with its “generous” yoga classes, mental health days, and wellness initiatives while maintaining cultures that reward face time, measure commitment by availability, and define leadership using frameworks designed for people who have full-time support at home.

On the other hand, progressive companies are finally catching on. They're redefining executive presence to include diverse leadership styles, creating multiple pathways to seniority that don't all require managing people, and crucially offering genuinely flexible arrangements at senior levels, not just for junior staff.

// The Real Ambition

Of course, this redefinition comes with resistance. Women who prioritise alignment still get labeled as "not hungry enough" or "lacking drive." Here's what the hustle economy doesn't want you to know: the women opting for alignment over hustle aren't the ones lacking ambition. They're the ones with enough ambition to want careers that can last 30 years, not just burn bright for five before flaming out.

They're ambitious enough to disappoint people, challenge norms, and trust that success doesn't have to look like self-destruction. They're building businesses, leading teams, creating impact; and just not in ways that require them to sacrifice their health, relationships, or sense of self on the altar of "making it."

At 35 and beyond, we have something our younger selves didn't: the experience to know what actually matters, the clarity to recognise when we're climbing the wrong mountain, and the confidence to redesign the terrain entirely.

And honestly? It looks a lot more interesting.

// Laurie Drummond, Founder, Sisterhood Collective

For more information, visit sisterhoodcollective.com.