A 5-second Break: Cheaper than couples counselling

A new study shows that couples who take a five-second break during an argument could stop their row from escalating. This is welcome news to our ears - right?

Psychologists at the University of St Andrews ran experiments with 81 couples to reach their findings, which were published in the Nature journal, Communications Psychology. Annah McCurry, a PhD candidate in the university’s School of Psychology and Neuroscience, designed and led the experiments with her supervisors Dr Robert May and Professor David Donaldson. She says breaks as short as five-second can reduce negative emotions and aggression. "It sounds obvious, but this is the first time anyone has experimentally demonstrated a reduction in aggression following enforced breaks.

“Forcing couples to have a five-second break was just as effective as a 10 or 15-second break, which shows even the briefest of pauses can help diffuse an argument.”

“This is a simple, free and effective ‘hack’ to reduce negative emotions during arguments.

“It’s cheaper than couple’s therapy and can be easily integrated into everyday interactions.”

// Argument by design

The study engaged couples in a competitive game where they could blast an unpleasant noise at their partner, at the volume of their choosing. The couples participated in 30 rounds of the game, with breaks enforced at different intervals. Advanced AI and machine learning were used to analyse the emotional responses, which were captured by a 360-degree camera with onboard audio. McCurry and colleagues found that couples tended to match each other’s level of aggression, even at high levels. However, enforcing a short break disrupted this pattern of retaliation, leading to lower overall aggression. McCurry emphasised the five-second strategy is intended for managing lower-level conflicts, preventing their escalation into more serious fights.

“This approach does not apply to domestic violence scenarios. This is about managing the mundane, everyday arguments that couples have, and that can escalate.

“We asked participants for their feedback and some of the comments we got were gold. One participant said “I felt great after winning and when my partner won I wanted to institute a sex ban”.

“Another said that the forced break made them look into their partner’s eyes, and that reduced the tension.”

The research was conducted in St Andrews and is reported in Nature’s Communications Psychology.

For more information on Annah McCurry’s research, visit: https://daris.wp.st-andrews.ac.uk/