You’re Not Just a Mum – and Here’s Proof

How We Remind Women Who They Are, Beyond the Nappies

Once upon a time, a woman looked in the mirror and wondered where the f*ck she’d gone.

She used to know who she was. Then came the baby. The bleeding. The night feeds. The crushing pressure to cherish every moment. And the slow, quiet erasure of the woman she used to be - replaced by someone who was needed constantly and seen only partially.

Let’s be clear: motherhood changes you. Not metaphorically. Biologically. There’s something called fetal microchimerism - where cells from your baby enter your bloodstream during pregnancy and stay there. They’ve found them in mothers’ hearts, brains, lungs. So when women say they carry their children with them - they’re not just being poetic. It’s science.

You are never alone again. Not even at a cellular level.

And still, the world expects you to carry on like nothing’s happened. To bounce back. Be grateful. Be quiet about the identity crisis raging under your unwashed hair and gentle parenting attempts.

Here’s what they don’t say: you can love your children more than life - and still fantasise about checking into a hotel alone for 48 hours just to remember your name.

You can know exactly what would make you feel better - leave the house, exercise, therapy, fresh air - and still say ‘sod it’ and eat a packet of hobnobs in the kitchen because you’re so sick of performing having-it-together.

We know there’s more to life than having kids. And yet, we have them.

Or we can’t, and we ache for them.

Or we don’t, and we’re judged anyway.

It’s impossible to win and it's exhausting to keep trying.

Being a woman right now is like having all the knowledge and no map. We scroll, we absorb, we intellectualise. We’ve got entire libraries of ‘how to find yourself’ content in our pockets - but no real-time guidance. No one pulling us aside and saying, ‘Here. This is how you navigate your new normal’.

And it’s even harder when the woman behind the mum changes shape every day.

Some mornings, she’s up early, making smoothies and lists. Other days, she can’t bear to look in the mirror. Some days she dreams big. Other days, she dreams of silence.

She is not one woman. She is many.

So how do we remind her who she is?

We stop expecting her to figure it out on her own.

We stop giving her ‘self-care tips’ and unsolicited advice and instead we create space. Real space.

To rage. To grieve. To laugh. To say what you shouldn’t. To exist outside of the label.

We help her find her people - not the ones who drain her, but the ones who see her. The ones who don’t flinch when she says, ‘I love my kid, but I’m bored out of my mind’. Or, ‘I miss my old life - this sh*t is hard’.

That’s why I created Eklektik Mama. Not because I had answers. But because I didn’t. I was a mum of four, including newborn twins, still grieving a pregnancy loss from two years prior and the version of myself I barely recognised anymore.

I didn’t want another coffee morning full of polite small talk. I wanted authentic connection. A safe space. Someone to give me a hug. Permission to be messy and multifaceted. To be seen as a kaleidoscopic whole - not just as ‘mum’.

What started as a way to keep myself sane turned into something bigger: a community of women who show up exactly as they are. We run, we eat, we rage, we talk about pelvic floors and ambition and loneliness and sex and school fees - all in the same breath. We create space for the woman who wants more than the highlight reel. We remind each other that our needs aren’t indulgent - they’re complex and they’re real.

So here’s your proof:

It’s in the woman who finally says no.

The one who signs up for that class.

Who sets the boundary.

Who lets herself rest.

Who walks out of a friendship that drained her.

Who walks into a room of strangers and says, ‘I think I need this’.

Who shows up. Or doesn’t.

You’re not just a mum.

You’re the person who made a human and is now trying to make sense of herself.

You are not lost.

You are evolving.

And the reminders? They don’t have to be loud.

Sometimes, it’s in the walk you took instead of scrolling.

The text you sent.

The breath you exhaled before answering, ‘Muuum?’

You’re not just a mum.

You’re a woman in the middle of a rewrite.

And my god, that deserves more than a cute nappy bag and a side of guilt.

// Simone Mazloumian

Simone Mazloumian is the founder of Eklektik Mama and a human maker - literally and figuratively. A mum of four, who grew up in the UAE, she creates space for women to reconnect with themselves, speak honestly and feel more human in the chaos of modern motherhood. Her work is rooted in one mission: supporting the woman behind the mother. Learn more: https://www.eklektikmama.com