Why FOPO is Quietly Running Our Lives and How to Break Free

We are, I believe, on the edge of a much-needed shift.

Most of us have become familiar with the term FOMO - Fear of Missing Out - a phrase coined in 2004 that reflects our anxiety about not being part of the experiences we see splashed across social media.

But lately, another acronym is taking hold: FOPO - “Fear of Other People’s Opinions”.

At first glance, FOPO may sound like just another trendy label for something humans have always dealt with. After all, haven’t we always been concerned about fitting in and being accepted and haven’t we always worried about what others might think? For many of us, that was part and parcel of growing up, especially during our anxious ridden teenage years.

So, what’s different now?

// A fear that runs deeper than we realise

FOPO isn’t just about self-consciousness. It’s the fear of being judged, criticised, or rejected for who we are, what we look like, how we live, or the choices we make. And while this fear may have ancient roots, stemming from a time when being cast out from the group literally meant life or death, it has found new fuel in the age of social media.

Once, our insecurities lived mostly in our heads or in small social circles. Now, they are constantly amplified by likes, comments, follows, and perfectly curated images. We are no longer just concerned about what our neighbours think, we’re unconsciously weighing our worth against strangers around the world.

To top this, unlike traditional gossip that ran on words, social media runs on images and images have power. They bypass the rational part of the brain and hit us directly in our emotions. A single post can leave us questioning our looks, our lifestyle, even our career.

This is why FOPO can feel so debilitating. It keeps us editing our truth, diluting our ideas, and playing small, just in case someone might disapprove.

// The Gen Z wake-up call

There is a bright spot in this story: Generation Z. I deeply admire how this younger generation are calling out the very behaviours we were once told to accept.

They are rejecting body shaming, they are questioning outdated social norms, and they are refusing to let someone’s opinion define their value. Gen Z has grown up with body positivity and inclusivity campaigns. They are statistically the least likely to be trying to “tone up” and the most likely to say they’re happy with how they look.

They’ve flipped the script on compliments, too. “You’ve lost weight!” is no longer a default praise because they know how such remarks can trigger deep insecurities or disordered thinking.

Of course, FOPO still exists in their world, but many in this generation are pushing back, using social media as a platform for authenticity, mental health advocacy, and self-love. We can all learn from that.

// So how do we let go of FOPO?

Many articles will tell you to “flip the narrative” or “turn down the spotlight.” These tools have value but first, you need to get clear on who you really are.

Here’s where to start:

1. Get clear on who you are

Living authentically starts with knowing what you stand for.

• Identify your top 20 values, not just the obvious five. Dig deep. What lights you up? What do you believe in?

  
  

• Once you know your values, ask yourself: What kind of life do I want to design? What kind of impact do I want to have?

This clarity becomes your compass. When you're grounded in your own values, the noise of others' opinions becomes easier to tune out.

2. Decide who gets a seat at your table

You don’t need to care what everyone thinks. In fact, you shouldn’t. Leadership psychologist Dr. Michael Gervais encourages us to picture a table of six seats - and who would we have occupy those seats? Whose opinions genuinely matter to your life, wellbeing, and growth?

Choose wisely. Focus on people who not only know you, support you, and challenge you with love but those who also share your values.

// You deserve a life that feels like yours

Whether you’re navigating motherhood, launching a business, choosing not to have children, or redefining your identity, there will always be opinions. The good news is that you don’t have to let them rule you. If FOPO is something you recognise in your own life, you are not alone. At One Life Coaching Middle East, we work with women from all walks of life across the UAE and beyond, helping them uncover the roots of their fear and find the courage to live authentically and with purpose. Because your life is not a performance. It’s a one-time gift. And you deserve to live it on your own terms.

// Anne Jackson - Therapeutic Life Coach, Psychotherapist, and Founder of One Life Coaching Middle East

About: Anne Jackson is a Therapeutic Life Coach, Psychotherapist, and Founder of One Life Coaching Middle East. With over 15 years of experience supporting women across the UAE and beyond, Anne specialises in helping individuals navigate self-worth, confidence, and personal transformation. Her integrative approach combines psychotherapy with life coaching to empower women to live with clarity, purpose, and authenticity.