The Psychology of Friendship and Boundaries

How Setting Limits Strengthens Emotional Bonds

Is “setting boundaries” with friends the new cool? While the growing conversation around personal limits may sound like a cultural trend, Dr. Jessica Rios-Habib, Psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre, believes it signals something deeper—a long-overdue psychological shift toward healthier relationships, emotional clarity, and personal empowerment.

Dr. Rios-Habib explores what boundary-setting in friendships actually looks like—and why it matters now more than ever. “Strong boundaries are not barriers,” she writes. “They are bridges to healthier, more authentic and balanced relationships.”

Despite the current buzz around confidence and self-worth, many people still misunderstand what boundaries are—or mistake them for emotional shutdowns, guilt trips, or a means of pushing people away. But as Dr. Rios-Habib explains, boundaries are none of these things. They’re not about telling others what to do; they’re about defining what you’re willing to accept, give, and protect. “Boundaries are thoughtful markers that help define your identity and needs during different phases of life,” she notes. “They are not about control—they are about clarity.”

Friendships, especially long-term ones, can bring up complicated feelings when expectations are unspoken or unmet. What do you do when a friend relies on you for constant emotional support, but you feel drained? Or when you're always the one initiating plans, organizing celebrations, or keeping the group together—without the same effort returned? On the other hand, what if you feel excluded, unheard, or overlooked by a friend whose behavior leaves you confused or hurt?

According to Dr. Rios-Habib, if these dynamics feel frustrating, overwhelming, or exhausting, chances are your boundaries need attention. “While setting boundaries can feel ‘impossible’ with close friends, it is absolutely possible to shift these dynamics without ending the relationship,” she emphasizes.

She offers a series of practical starting points for those unsure of where to begin:

• Start with self-awareness. Tune into your gut reactions and emotional patterns. Ask yourself: Do I struggle to say “no”? Am I minimizing my own needs to avoid conflict?

  
  

• Clarify your values. Consider whether the relationship aligns with your personal goals, identity, and needs. This step often benefits from therapeutic reflection, particularly if unresolved childhood experiences or trauma are involved.

  
  

• Let go of guilt. Setting boundaries is not selfish—it’s a powerful act of self-respect and an investment in the relationship itself.

  
  

• Understand the root causes. Many people avoid boundaries because of fears—of rejection, conflict, or appearing “difficult.” Cultural norms, past trauma, and lack of practice also play a role. Identifying these root causes, ideally with professional support, can unlock real growth.

  
  

• Plan boundary-setting conversations with care. Use “I” statements. Be assertive but kind. Acknowledge that some discomfort may arise—and that’s okay. “Mutual compromise,” she adds, “is a sign of a healthy friendship.”

  
  

Dr. Rios-Habib also reminds readers that boundaries evolve. They are not fixed rules, but flexible tools we refine as we grow and as relationships shift. And while there’s no perfect script, the willingness to engage in honest dialogue is a powerful act of emotional maturity.

Above all, she urges readers to remember: “You deserve relationships that are balanced, fulfilling, and rooted in mutual care.”

If a friendship poses a threat to your emotional or physical safety, she advises seeking support immediately. But in most cases, boundaries are not about ending a connection—they are about preserving it with integrity.

For additional information and resources, please visit www.thrive.ae