The Flight Before Christmas

by Kellie Whitehead

(with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

‘Twas the flight before Christmas, and all through the land

Mothers were screaming “GET ME OUT OF THIS SAND!”

The cases were placed on the doorstep with care

In the hopes that the Uber XL would be there

The children weren’t ready, and force fed the toast -

Whilst chocolate for breakfast was wanted the most.

And Mum in her loungewear, and Dad in his cap

Were dreaming of check-in, and a post take-off nap.

When out on the street, they heard such a clatter,

The maid goes running to see what’s the matter.

Straight to the road, Dad goes like a flash,

His golf clubs a goner, down with a crash.

The ski gear, the coats, the boots for the snow

Were under the tyres, in pieces below.

Then slowly the driver, confused he appears,

Airport? He offers..

Dad’s words were ‘unclear’

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

Terminal 3 in no time, if feeling quite sick.

Straight up to the door, the trolley guys came.

A quick tip for Ahmed, if that was his name.

Now Darcey! Now Daniel!, Now Olivia!, Now Zane!

Is everyone here? Mum calls out in vain

With oversized luggage, to the counter she calls,

Then dash away, dash away, dash away all!

Tired, stressed faces, all ready to fly -

In that two storey jumbo that glides through the sky

7 hours of movies, the time it just flew

And if that visa had gone through, the maid could come too.

Passports a-ready, man sat in the booth.

No E-Gate? You’re kidding? No time for uncouth.

No festive faces at this time of year.

Thinking of striking, or a post clock-off beer.

Baggage reclaim, hours waiting abound.

Tempers are frayed, anyone got a pound?

Can you believe they charge you for these?

Sheepish through customs, “not paying those fees!”

Grandad right there, already quite merry,

In his big winter coat, nose like a cherry.

And Grandma is keen, all ready to go.

The kids are excited, but where is the snow?

And here they all are - faces all smiles

Parking charges dismissed, they’d argued for miles.

Granny and Gramps, all ready for fun.

Inappropriate gifts, REALLY Mother, a GUN?

Down the M62, they drive out of sight…

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL & TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.