By Indira Kasaeva
As a child with four siblings and of a mother, who embraced motherhood and dedicated her life to her children, I always knew I wanted to have kids…SOME DAY. I also had an expansive travel and experience bucket list – which I was living and breathing for at the age of 30.
My major goal last year was to go to Bali and learn how to surf (happy to report, I did accomplish this – learning the basics!), and it was a truly transformational solo trip. So, when I came back, and a month later, fully inspired to plan my next surf trip, we found out I was pregnant – it was unexpected. And yet, somewhere deep down inside I knew that the stars had aligned, and this meant it was time. As a true believer in fate and destiny, amidst the slightly terrifying notions, I accepted this new stage of life and decided to embrace it. Seven months in, here are the surprising things I discovered during my first pregnancy.
It's as collective, as it’s personal – as an experience
From telling family, surprising friends, and sharing the news at work – it’s a weird, wonderful and “bonding” experience in a way. Maybe I’m blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people, but WOW, people do love to talk about babies, and pregnancy and just talk about my rapidly expanding bump. It becomes a topic of conversation, which is at times a bit scary (when you hear about some of the experiences of some moms) and at times incredibly lovely. You get so much extra love, care, attention and consideration – that it’s a cool experience, as a reminder of how those around you appreciate you.
Mothers are a tribe
I was a teenager when my siblings were born, so I was hands-on with taking care of babies. What I didn’t realise was the extent of “mothers’ solidarity”. Being surrounded by lots of brilliant women, advice, help, guidance, donations – all came pouring in! And I did not expect this! From two shelves of baby clothes gifted, gender reveals planned “because it’s your first baby”, car-seats and strollers donated…these little things really make up for the experience.
Every doctor: “That’s normal, not much we can do now”
Having seen my mom experience horrendous morning sickness for 3 months, I was praying I wouldn’t have the same. Thank heavens, I didn’t have, and it was all rainbows and butterflies till suddenly I had shooting pains down my leg which left me unable to walk for a day, and the orthopedic doctor said, “Oh that’s normal, not much we can do now”. When I had the flu and actually got sick, it was the same response. A rash on my cheek which typically takes 5 days of antibiotics to clear was also “not much we can do now”. My point is, be extra careful with yourself because likely, the most you can take is a Panadol (certain type only) and lay down as a cure for most of your aches and pains.
Hormones are no joke
Pregnant and dangerous, became an inside joke between my friends and husband. And honestly, I cannot blame them. At some stage in my 2nd trimester, I did feel mildly crazy, as everything seemed extreme. As a person who is not very emotional, I was a different human being specifically with those closest to me. While I did understand that I overreacted at times, it was only after the fact. In the moment I was ready to destroy everything in my way like a tornado or feel so miserable that depths of despair were immeasurable. Thankfully, it all becomes normal after some time.