Remember when I said ‘divorce day’ felt far too easy?
It was for reasons unknown to me at the time. Reasons I would have never in my wildest dreams think would happen to me. My life was about to change big time.
Since the day the ex-husband and I signed our divorce papers, things just ‘felt’ different. Once upon a time I would have imagined this day as a very amicable time, us both doing our part, signing the paper and continuing life as we had, separately but for our children to be supported by us both.
The next time I heard from my children’s father, which was a couple of days later was a whatsapp message telling me he ‘needed to take my car’. Sorry what? I’ve had this car for 3years, and I pay the installments, I transport the children in it, what? As I am self-employed, I cannot finance my own vehicles or receive any bank loans or credits cards, etc…so he always had my vehicle registered under his name, but I paid for it.
He said this wasn’t part of our agreement, so im coming to take it. Ermm…then let’s get what you need to provide to me for the children as part of the agreement in order and then go for it.
While I was fast asleep that night, he contacted my then home help, she handed over the car keys and away he went with MY car. I only found out when I went to go to my car the next day and it was gone. That easy. I had nothing to show for what I was paying years for and I couldn’t get myself another car. I then thought this was bad, really bad but this was only the beginning of my nightmare.
Over the days and weeks to follow, he cancelled my nannies visa for no reason, he stopped taking the children over the weekends, stopped paying for schooling, cancelled their medical insurance and it goes on and on. So much for having an ‘agreement’ he was literally doing the opposite. Little by little trying to destroy our lives, with no further communication or reasoning.
Ill leave out the parts of everything else he took from us, but we were left with nothing. Nothing except a roof over our heads but nothing else to survive. Then came the email stating’ I have left all the children’s belongings outside your building entrance’ This is when my heart literally skipped many beats. It became more than real that he is fleeing. He took all that could for his own selfish reasons and has no intention on even seeing his children again let alone help with their life and survival.
This could not have been happening. I am alone in a foreign country, no family around, no home help, no longer have an income to survive in Dubai, I have lost all my savings to be able to leave the country, no vehicle, no nothing. WHAT DO I DO?
I am a fighter. I have always been a fighter but everything at once crashing down, whilst alone with three children to raise on nothing was just too much.
I tried to get loans from every financial institution possible…rejected.
I begged the school to allow my children to attend to have their education and mental health…rejected.
I applied to literally over one hundred jobs a day, reached out to so many people to give me something to work on, simply so I can buy groceries for my children.
The court Agreement meant absolutely nothing. To this day I am still back and forth with the family court to help me in getting us what we deserve. But I’ve spent more time, energy and money on this with no positive outcome.
I won’t speak about why my ex decided to take this route in detail. But let’s just say someone else came along and he wanted to start a new life and forget about his current one.
Every single day is a battle. Every single day I tear up at some point but then quickly need to pull myself together for the children. So many thoughts constantly running through my head about how we will get through each day, how could I ever explain to children about where their dad is (luckily the have finally stopped asking so I don’t need to keep making excuses). And I worry so much about their mental health. What all this has done to them and how it will affect them as adults. They are troopers. Their mother has completely lost herself, but they still do their best to make me happy. Although they are only children, they are my only support network which is absurd and so unfair on them.
I’ve come to hate the saying ‘whatever doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger’. I’ve heard this so many times. As well as ‘Everything will be okay’. Yes but, at what cost?
Im nowhere near out of the woods yet. Still living each day to get through, fighting for all that I can to survive and hoping our lives will get better soon. I’ve tried everything else, and it’s zapped my energy and taken away my happiness from my children. Its all I can do right now.
But no matter what, the saying I prefer people share more… ‘’Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about’’
Looking back on those ‘Bliss’ days I had and the ones I could lay on the sofa, binge watch Netflix, Deliveroo and chill, are now part of my past and that is okay.
We just never know where our lives can lead us. We do not know what each day brings. We do however need to make each day count. Whether as a single parent, for ourselves, for our partner, whoever it may be, keep on keeping on as best as you can.