Married & Lonely // Why Marriage Isn’t a Cure for Loneliness

Together but Alone

Loneliness is often framed as a condition of being single, yet mental health professionals are increasingly seeing it surface within marriages. Experts at Thrive Wellbeing Centre are highlighting that being married does not automatically guarantee emotional connection - and in many cases, couples may feel deeply lonely while sharing the same home.

This conversation is particularly relevant across the GCC region, where the family unit is widely regarded as the smallest and most important building block of society. Within this deeply interdependent culture, marriage is often viewed as a cornerstone of stability, belonging, and social cohesion.

“There is a widespread assumption that having a partner protects us from loneliness,” explains Dina Shamlawi, Psychologist & Couples Therapist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre. “But marriage does not inherently safeguard against emotional disconnection. We see many couples who remain legally married while living through what can be described as an emotional divorce - where emotional closeness, safety, and intimacy have quietly eroded.”

What the research says...

Regional research supports this reality. Studies conducted in the UAE indicate that married and single adults report similar levels of loneliness, challenging the belief that marriage alone protects against emotional isolation. Further research polling couples living in the GCC also reveals high numbers of partners who remain together while feeling emotionally disconnected, often living parallel lives shaped by routine, responsibility, and unspoken resentment.

According to Mahnoor Zulfiqar, Psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre, loneliness in marriage often develops quietly through everyday patterns. “Reduced conversation, fewer shared moments, and diminished emotional alignment can slowly replace connection. Couples may function efficiently together, managing work, parenting, and household responsibilities, but rarely engage emotionally. This ‘parallel living’ is one of the most common contributors to marital loneliness.”

Stress, Transitions, and Growing Apart

“Loneliness within marriage can also intensify during periods of stress or transition - such as becoming parents, navigating career pressures, health challenges, or changing family dynamics” explains Dr. Sarah Rasmi, Founder and Psychologist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre.

“During these phases, differences in communication styles may become more pronounced; one partner may seek emotional reassurance and presence, while the other responds with problem-solving, unintentionally deepening feelings of disconnection.”

Digital Distraction Plays a Growing Role

Habits such as scrolling on phones during shared time, watching separate screens in the evening, or checking devices before bed can gradually displace moments of connection. Research links this behaviour, often referred to as phubbing, to lower relationship satisfaction, reduced intimacy, and increased relational strain.

“In clinical practice, many couples tell us they feel lonely despite being deeply committed to one another,” Zulfiqar adds. “This loneliness tends to build slowly, making it easy to dismiss until emotional distance feels firmly established. What often helps is intentionality – understanding each other’s needs and love languages, and prioritising quality time defined by presence, not just proximity.”

A Signal, Not a Failure

Both experts stress that loneliness within marriage is common, human, and not a sign of failure. Rather, it is a signal that something needs attention.

“If we move away from shame and fear, loneliness can become a call to action,” says Shamlawi. “Unspoken needs and unresolved resentments often sit beneath the surface. When acknowledged and addressed - through couples therapy, trusted mediators, or intentional changes in routine - relationships can rebuild emotional safety and closeness. What we resist tends to persist.”

Rebuilding Emotional Connection

Therapists at Thrive often draw on evidence-based frameworks such as the Gottman’s concept of ‘Love Maps,’ which emphasises the importance of continually updating one’s understanding of a partner’s inner world. As individuals evolve over time, relationships require ongoing emotional recalibration rather than reliance on historical assumptions about who a partner once was.

Zulfiqar agrees: “Even small, meaningful rituals - such as a weekly check-in or uninterrupted shared time - can make a difference. When couples feel heard, understood, and emotionally safe, marriage can once again become a place of connection rather than quiet isolation.”

If you're experiencing loneliness...

As conversations around mental health continue to evolve in the region, Thrive Wellbeing Centre encourages couples to recognise that seeking support is not a last resort, but a proactive step toward deeper, more resilient relationships.

For additional information and resources, please visit www.thrive.ae

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