Life Not As Not Normal // We Ask a Psychologist Our Questions This Week

It's been "a week"! Right?!

As we we sit on the sofa at the end of what has been a week that shook us and made us re-think a lot, we share the conversation we had with Dr Jane Halsall, Chartered Counselling Psychologist at Cornerstone Clinic, where we had the chance to ask our questions about what's on our mind right now.

For many of us, the challenge is learning to cope with a new normal that we can’t control. One minute you think it’s all over and the next there is a bang overhead. How do we keep our nervous systems calm and ride through these waves?

Our nervous systems are designed to react quickly to perceived threat. When there are sudden noises, alerts, or uncertainty about what might happen next, the brain’s threat system becomes activated and releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This is why many people feel hyper-alert, on edge, or unable to relax.

The key is learning to regulate the nervous system rather than trying to suppress fear. Slow breathing, grounding exercises, and reducing constant exposure to news updates can help signal safety to the brain. Even small actions, moving the body or speaking with someone you trust can help to shift the nervous system out of a fight-or-flight state. The aim is not to eliminate anxiety entirely, but to help the body return to calm more quickly after each wave of uncertainty.

For those separated from their families or children, what advice do you have about managing that uncertainty and anything those mums/dads can do to reassure their kids?

Separation during periods of uncertainty can intensify feelings of helplessness for both parents and children. The most important psychological tool here is connection. Even when physically apart, regular communication provides reassurance and emotional stability.

Parents should aim to keep conversations calm, consistent, and age-appropriate. Children are often less worried about the facts of a situation and more focused on whether the adults they trust is ok. Short daily calls, predictable check-ins, and reassurance that adults are working together to keep everyone safe can help reduce a child’s anxiety. Routine and familiarity even across distance remain powerful sources of psychological security.

What everyday actions can we take to restore calm in our homes and minds while navigating this?

In times of uncertainty, the brain looks for signals of predictability. This is why simple routines become so important.

Keeping regular meal times, maintaining online school times with breaks, getting outside for fresh air, and limiting exposure to constant news cycles can all help regulate stress levels. Creating small pockets of calm in the day helps shift attention away from threat and back towards connection and stability.

Psychologically, routine sends a powerful message to the brain: life continues, and there are still elements of safety and control within our environment.

What do you do when someone ‘gaslights’ your feelings or emotions about the situation? Some people approach this by telling others they are overreacting or being too uptight.

Emotional reactions to uncertainty are highly individual. What feels manageable to one person may feel deeply unsettling to another. When someone dismisses or minimises another person’s emotional response, it can make people question their own reactions.

It is important to remember that anxiety during uncertain circumstances is a normal human response. Rather than engaging in debates about whether feelings are justified, it can be more helpful to acknowledge your own emotional experience and seek support from people who respond with empathy and understanding.

What’s your advice for mothers who are scared themselves but must stay strong for their kids?

Parents do not need to be completely fearless to support their children. In fact, children benefit more from seeing adults acknowledge emotions in a calm and manageable way.

The goal is emotional regulation, not emotional suppression. Parents might say something like, “Yes, this situation feels a bit worrying, but the adults around us are working to keep everyone safe and we are okay right now.” This communicates honesty while still providing reassurance.

It is also essential that parents care for their own mental wellbeing. Speaking with friends, taking breaks from news exposure, and prioritising rest all help parents remain emotionally regulated. When adults feel supported, they are far better able to provide the calm, steady presence children need during uncertain times.

Dr Jane Halsall of Cornerstone Clinic