For centuries, society has fostered the idea of sisterhood—the notion that women should support, uplift, and empower each other. Yet, many women will admit, often in hushed tones, that some of their most painful betrayals and harshest criticisms have come not from men but from other women.
Workplace rivalries, social cliques, backhanded compliments, and even outright sabotage—these behaviours raise an uncomfortable question: Why do women sometimes treat each other worse than they do men?
// The Roots of Female Rivalry
The roots of this phenomenon are deep, planted in a mix of social conditioning, evolutionary psychology, and cultural pressures. Unlike men, who have historically engaged in direct competition for dominance, women have often been conditioned to compete covertly—through social influence, relationships, and reputation. The result is a complex web of behaviours, often unspoken yet deeply impactful, that shape the way women interact with each other.
From an early age, many girls are taught to be "nice" and to avoid open confrontation. However, human nature dictates that competition exists in all social structures. Without an outlet for direct competition, these tensions often manifest in subtler, more insidious ways—passive-aggression, exclusion, and gossip. This form of indirect aggression has been documented in psychological research, showing that women are more likely than men to use relational aggression—damaging someone’s social standing rather than engaging in physical or verbal confrontations.
// The Scarcity Mindset
Another major factor is the "scarcity mindset"—the belief that there are limited opportunities, especially for women, in various spaces such as leadership, high-status careers, or even relationships. When society has historically reserved only a few spots for women at the top, competition becomes fierce. Instead of challenging the structures that create these limitations, some women may turn on each other in an attempt to secure their place in the hierarchy.
Take the workplace, for instance. Women often face what is known as the "Queen Bee Syndrome," where senior female executives resist mentoring younger women, fearing that helping them might diminish their own power. Studies have shown that women in male-dominated industries are more likely to distance themselves from their female colleagues to align with the male power structure rather than uplifting other women.
// Media’s Role in Perpetuating Conflict
Popular culture and media play an undeniable role in amplifying female rivalry. From reality TV shows to tabloid headlines, narratives about women feuding with each other—whether over careers, friendships, or love interests—are endlessly recycled. The so-called "catfight" trope has long been a source of entertainment, subtly reinforcing the idea that women are inherently competitive with one another rather than collaborative.
Meanwhile, men are often depicted as having strong, loyal friendships, encouraging the idea that male camaraderie is natural while female friendships are fragile and prone to betrayal. This cultural messaging seeps into real life, influencing how women perceive their own relationships and interactions.
// Can Women Break the Cycle?
The good news is that awareness is the first step toward breaking these patterns. Women do not have to subscribe to these ingrained behaviours. Instead of seeing each other as threats, women can consciously choose to build networks of support.
Mentorship, advocacy, and celebrating other women's achievements are crucial steps toward fostering genuine solidarity. Calling out toxic behaviours—like gossip, exclusion, or indirect competition—can help dismantle the outdated scripts that pit women against each other. Instead of focusing on the scarcity mindset, women can embrace the idea that success is not a zero-sum game—there is room for everyone to thrive.
At its core, female rivalry is not about women being inherently mean to each other; it is about a societal structure that has subtly trained women to see each other as competitors. By recognizing these dynamics and actively choosing to support rather than sabotage, women can create a stronger, more unified sisterhood—one that benefits all.
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