I just had the loveliest weekend away in London with my old uni mates.
And when I say old, I don’t mean they’re old. I mean I’ve had them for a very long time.
But the thing is; even though we’re only 42; this weekend I felt old. In fact more specifically; I felt I looked old.
Everywhere I looked in London, I saw beautiful young girls with glowing wrinkle-free skin, bouncy blowdrys, shining white teeth and pouty lips.
Whilst I bemoaned my decrepitude to my friends, one piped up that maybe those young girls aren’t actually what they seem.
“Most of them have already had work done I’m telling you!”
Surely not! These twenty to thirty year olds are just babies. They can’t be shelling out their hard-earned cash on ‘work’ already can they?
Well, a recent report in the UK published by the Girl Guides Association seems to back up my friend’s assumption.
It carried out a survey of its young members and the results are sad and shocking but probably won’t come as too much of a surprise to parents of young girls. Some of the findings include:
More than half of girls (55%) aged 7-21 have received negative comments about their appearance
Girls as young as 7 say that they feel they are held to a different beauty standard than boys of their age, and that they face more appearance-based scrutiny
Over half (61%) of 11–16-year-old girls said they’d like to lose weight
Just over a quarter (28%) of girls aged 11-16 said they would consider cosmetic changes to their appearance at some point in the next 20 years, rising to nearly half (48%) for girls aged 17-21.
And the consideration of those changes, year on year is translating to more teens undergoing consultations with aesthetic clinics and plastic surgeons in the UK.
Across the pond, the trend is similar. According to the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons (ASPS), in 2020, nearly 230,000 cosmetic surgeries and nearly 140,000 non-invasive cosmetic procedures were performed on teens ages 13-19.
Reading the Girl Guides report in full made me really think about how important it is to instill our teens with confidence in all the other areas of their lives which don’t revolve around looks. How we need to place huge value on their character, their humour, their friendships, their creativity or their sporting prowess. Easier said than done, I grant you.
I have three sons and feel lucky that I probably won’t have as much of a battle on my hands when it comes to convincing them to stay au naturel. But boys aren’t immune to these pressures either.
So what’s the best way to approach the issue if your teen or even pre-teen starts to talk about tweakments, treatments or even cosmetic surgery? We have all been teenagers ourselves and must keenly remember that anything your parents are vehemently opposed to, suddenly becomes even more appealing!
Cosmetic Surgeon Dr Aisha White has the following tips for parents:
1 - When young adults are considering surgery, it's also an opportunity to teach them about bodily autonomy and being advocates for their health. Encourage them to read up and be fully informed about choices which might permanently affect their wellbeing and their appearance.
2 - Talk to your children about the risks, potential complications, and long-term implications.
3 - If they’re serious, before you start to look into surgery, consider reversibility and alternatives. Is there a less invasive option which might be available to them?
4 - Use this as an opportunity for important conversations. Conversations about inclusivity and diversity. Be open and rational and listen to the reasoning that has brought your child to this place.
5 - Talk to your child about the realistic outcomes. Having cosmetic surgery or aesthetic treatments will not make them more popular, or take away problems which are arising as a result of a lack of self esteem. They need to work on those from the inside out, not the other way around.
OK, the last tip, which comes not from a doctor, but from little old me… is to remember a) what it felt like to be a teenager (and how lucky we were to grow up in a world without instagram and filters and all this endless pressure to look perfect) and b) to remember that we as grown women, their parent, are still inclined to give ourselves a glow-up every now and again.
The Invisalign, the Botox, the vampire facials.
We have to acknowledge to our teens that we’re also not immune to beating ourselves up over our appearance and taking steps to improve our perfectly imperfect selves.
//Sarah Lawton
Comments