How to Know If Your Husband is a Narcissist (Hint: It’s Not All About Him, But… It Might Be)

Ah, the joys of marriage! You’ve found someone to share your life with, your hopes, your dreams and, of course, your Netflix password.

But what if, over time, you begin to suspect that your husband may have a few extra special qualities that aren’t as charming as his morning coffee ritual? Yes, we’re talking about the possibility that he might be a narcissist.

Before you grab your magnifying glass and start investigating his every move, let’s take a lighthearted dive into how to spot the telltale signs of a narcissistic personality. Spoiler alert: You’ll likely see a lot of red flags, but don’t panic - understanding is the first step toward navigating your relationship with a little more awareness.

1. He Talks About Himself… A Lot

If your husband spends more time talking about his achievements than asking about your day, it’s time to raise an eyebrow. Narcissists love to be the center of attention, preferably without sharing the spotlight. “Oh, you went to work today? That’s nice. Anyway, did I tell you about the promotion I got at work? You’ll never believe the numbers I’ve been hitting!”

If your husband’s stories start to sound like a never-ending TED Talk about his greatness, it’s a sign. Maybe try asking him about his favourite topic: you!

2. He Can’t Handle Criticism (Like, At All)

One of the classic signs of a narcissist is an inability to take any form of criticism, constructive or otherwise. If you gently suggest he could improve in any area, prepare for a defensive rant about how you don’t appreciate him or how you don’t understand his genius. The idea of admitting fault? That’s just not in the cards.

When giving feedback, try a different approach: instead of “You need to stop interrupting me,” try “You have such strong opinions, I’d love to hear more of your thoughts.” You’ll probably still be met with a monologue, but hey, it might soften the blow!

3. He Has a Very “Special” Relationship with Mirrors

Does your husband spend a suspicious amount of time gazing at himself in the mirror? Whether it’s adjusting his hair for the fifth time or checking his outfit for the third time in one day, narcissists are known for loving their own reflection. And hey, if he’s always admiring himself like he’s about to be featured on a magazine cover, maybe he’s just really confident—or maybe it’s a little something more.

If he starts referring to himself as “the chosen one” or “the most photogenic,” you might want to consider a sit-down… or at least a selfie contest to see who wins in the self-adoration department.

4. His Empathy Is… Well, Let’s Just Say “Nonexistent”

Narcissists aren’t exactly known for being warm and fuzzy. If your husband seems completely indifferent to your feelings, or worse, responds to your emotional needs with phrases like, “You’re overreacting” or “Why are you so sensitive?”, he’s not exactly winning any awards for emotional intelligence.

If he’s more likely to ask “What’s for dinner?” than check in on how you’re feeling after a rough day, it may be time for a heart-to-heart. You know, one that he might actually listen to.

5. He Has a Talent for Making Everything About Him

You could be telling a perfectly lovely story about your day when suddenly… boom, it’s all about him. "Oh, that reminds me of the time I had to deal with a crazy customer at work!" Somehow, everything always ties back to his experiences, his problems, his successes. Your day? It becomes the background noise to his latest dramatic saga.

If he turns every conversation into a monologue about himself, maybe take a stand. Say something like, “I was really excited to tell you about my day… but now I’m wondering if you’d like to hear how mine went first?” It might make him blink twice.

6. He’s a “Love Bomber”… At First

Narcissists are often very charming at the beginning of relationships. Think sweet compliments, spontaneous gifts, and over-the-top romantic gestures. But as time goes on, those grand declarations of love and affection tend to dry up, replaced by self-obsessed behavior and little regard for your needs.

If your honeymoon phase felt like a never-ending parade of flowers, candles, and compliments, and it suddenly switched to your birthday being completely forgotten, don’t panic. It's possible you’ve entered the narcissist zone, but hey, at least you got some free chocolates while it lasted.

7. He’s Obsessed with Status and Appearances

Does your husband measure success by the car he drives, the brand of watch he wears, or the number of Instagram followers he has? Narcissists love outward validation, especially when it comes to impressing others. If he spends more time talking about his “network” than his “true friends,” it’s another clue that his priorities might be a little off.

If he’s constantly talking about “status symbols” or seems more concerned with how he’s perceived than how he actually feels, it might be worth reminding him that true value doesn’t come from followers, it comes from genuine connections (and you might even score a few brownie points).

8. He Has a Grandiose Sense of Self

Last but definitely not least, narcissists love to inflate their own worth. Whether it’s exaggerating accomplishments or acting like they’re the most important person in the room, they often have an inflated sense of superiority. It’s less “modesty” and more “Why aren’t you all bowing down to my genius?”

If he introduces himself as “the world’s most talented CEO” or “the best at everything,” you may want to remind him that humility is a superpower. And let’s be real, a little humility never hurt anyone.

If you’ve spotted a few (or all) of these signs in your husband, don’t worry, you don’t need to hire a private investigator just yet. A little self-reflection and some honest conversations can go a long way in understanding where things stand in your relationship. And remember, not all narcissists are beyond saving! It’s possible to work things out, but you may need a therapist to help guide the way.

At the end of the day, relationships are about balance, understanding, and communication. So whether your husband is a self-proclaimed “king of the world” or just a guy who loves himself a little too much, make sure you're taking care of yourself, too. After all, you deserve to be the hero in your own story!