Honest Career Chat // The Silent Rules Women Still Face In Business

Whether in boardrooms, production meetings or busy film shoots, there exists a peculiar kind of tension - quiet, yet unmistakably gendered. For women navigating professional life, this tension is not merely anecdotal. It is systemic, often subliminal, yet rarely articulated aloud.

It’s not just the pressure to do well, or to climb the ladder. It’s the set of invisible rules - those unspoken expectations that shape how women are meant to act, lead, and succeed in workplaces that, despite progress, still operate with a different playbook for men.

As a TV producer who’s spent years leading high-pressure, often male-dominated teams, I’ve learned these rules the hard way. From the outside, successful women in business can look like they’ve got it all figured out. But from the inside, you start to see the quiet codes we’re expected to follow - the ones our male peers often aren’t even aware exist.

// Lead - but don’t be “too much”

Traits like confidence and decisiveness are praised in men. But when women show the same qualities, they’re often labelled difficult or emotional. I’ve had situations where standing firm in a negotiation or pushing back on unfair feedback was seen as personal or over-sensitive. Yet if a male colleague said the exact same thing, it would be considered strong leadership.

This kind of double standard is exhausting, and it’s everywhere. Be direct, but not harsh. Be ambitious, but make sure you’re still likeable. Speak up, but don’t take up too much space.

// The quiet cost of leadership

And yet, the heaviest toll is not always the external judgment, but the internal tax. The constant second-guessing, the self-editing, the calculated silences. Leadership, for women, often comes with a price not levied on our male counterparts. When I am the lone assertive voice in a meeting, I am cast, sometimes subtly, sometimes explicitly, as the antagonist. The “bad cop.” My male colleagues, when embodying similar roles, are either excused or praised for using a firm hand.

Sometimes the dynamics between women can be just as complex. Competition between women is too often reduced to cliché - catty, insecure, small. But this is a misreading. What we are witnessing is not petty rivalry, but the consequence an unspoken belief that there is only room for one woman at the summit. Patriarchy does not merely exclude; it teaches us to exclude each other. The resulting erosion of collaboration is not a moral failing, but a learned response to systemic constraint.

// When to speak and when to stay quiet

I worked with a young client who openly struggled with women in authority. In that situation, I had to mute myself to wrap the project efficiently. Normally I’m confident and outspoken, but in that environment I chose to keep my head down, finish the job, and avoid working with that client in the future. Sometimes it’s about knowing when to pull back, not because you want to, but because asserting yourself might backfire. This isn’t weakness. This is strategy. Sometimes we feel guilty for not calling out every bad behaviour, but the truth is, we don’t owe everyone a lesson. You’re allowed to take the path of least resistance when that’s what you need to get through.

That said, some moments have stuck with me where speaking up made a difference. Years ago, as a young assistant on a big budget show in NYC, an established male director shouted at me in front of the crew. I was terrified, but I managed to say: “Please don’t speak to me that way.” The whole set went silent. Hours later, he apologised. He said nobody had ever challenged him before. That moment shaped how I show up at work today. It reminded me that even when it’s uncomfortable, setting a boundary matters.

// Being a woman is an advantage, not a weakness

Despite all this, being a woman in business isn’t a disadvantage. In fact, it’s something I now see as a strength. I’ve had countless moments where a female perspective brought balance, empathy, or clarity that others hadn’t thought to offer. Sometimes I feel like the only one holding the team to a higher standard, not because I’m better, but because I’ve had to work harder to be taken seriously.

And there are networks of support if you look for them. I host women-only meetups for women to connect and recharge. Even when we work in totally different teams, it helps to know we’re not alone.

The biggest thing I’ve learned? Ask for help. So many of us think we need to do everything ourselves. But most women want to help other women, we’re just not always shown how to ask.

If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it’s this: being a woman in business is not something to overcome. It’s something to own. Your voice, your boundaries, your way of working - it all counts. And when you start seeing your identity as a strength, not a hurdle, it changes everything.

Molly McDonald, CEO of Blue Door Productions