Although the title of this article is catchy, let’s stop trying to find love!
Have you ever noticed that when you’re frantically searching for something, you never find it?
It’s easier to ‘find’ things when you take a step back, relax, regather, and refocus… then
POOF…that missing item is found! This also applies to love.
Have you ever walked into a bar, event, or activity, and you notice someone who has their head
on a swivel searching for someone in the crowd to talk to, instead of enjoying the moment with
whom they came with? This kind of behaviour reeks of desperation and smells of insecurity. Stop
searching and start taking action in other ways.
Use these checkpoints to get on track:
1. Why do you think you’re single?
Ask yourself this question. Seriously reflect. And if your answer is ‘I don’t know’ you’re
obviously not ready to date. Sit with your feelings and really try to gain perspective as to why
you are single. Your answer will help you to realize patterns that maybe you didn’t realize were
taking place. See which things you can change to make the dating experience more positive.
2. Rate yourself.
No, not on looks. But rather on the qualities you possess, the achievements and
accomplishments you hold, and your physical and mental health. Add on to that list: what you
bring to a relationship. Be honest! Then pick a number 1 - 10.
3. Are you even ready to be dating?
If your number is less than 8 then you should NOT be dating! This means that you have
some work to do for yourself. In order to attract a quality partner, YOU need to be of high
quality. An easy step to start you in the right direction is my favourite phrase: happy + active =
attractive. Elevate your physical and mental health by investing in a better exercise routine, and diet
(this is not just what you eat but also what your brain consumes) and surround yourself with
others dedicated to a road of elevation. Once you feel like an 8+ this should be your time to start
the dating process.
4. Replace ‘the list’!
Avoid writing a list of physical traits or qualities you are looking for in a partner. Instead,
write a description of how you want to be treated in a relationship. How do you want this person
to make you feel? What kind of future do you want to achieve with this partner? Writing down
these expectations will help you understand your own values.
5. Set your standards high.
It’s up to you to set the bar for yourself once you’re on the dating scene. Remember you
can’t control others but you can set your bar high where this can either encourage the right
person to level up or attract someone on your level. Remember these keys: looks, energy,
and effort. Use these three keys to guide you to date on a top level.
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